I think the same thing is happening now only instead of a gloomy view from the window we have a gloomy view from our minds.  In fact, one of my clients started our call out the other day by saying, “Do you have any idea how many negative people there are out there??  I’m thinking I need to get new people!”  Of course, we have ample reason to feel gloomy-the economy, the….wait, I’m not going to list them all the bad stuff.  That will just reinforce it.  I think we need to focus less on the tragic and more on the magic.

My personal jolt of sunshine came this morning in the grocery store.  Walking through the produce section I heard someone call, “Judy, is that you?”  I turned to see a high school friend that I haven’t seen in I-have-no-clue-how-many years.  Aside from a little gray hair, she looked exactly the same.  But, more than that, she acted exactly the same.  When she saw me she jumped up and down (we were both cheerleaders so we used to do that a lot) and gave me a big hug.  She was beaming.  I felt like the clouds were parting, the fog was lifting and the sun was poking through.  We had a whirlwind of an exchange (she was holding up the check out line while she went to grab one more thing) and parted with promises of getting in touch soon.  Afterwards, I felt just how far I had to sink to get back to my ‘pre-encounter’ level.  Wow-what a wake up call!

Then I remembered a story that a friend of mine told me. Her granddaughter just turned 5 and, like many little girls now, had a Princess Birthday party.  In addition to all the girls dressing like princesses, my friend had her niece (who is 18) stop by as a ‘visiting princess’.  She was all dressed up and entertained the little girls with princess stories.  The girls were in awe.  The only tense moment came when the ‘visiting princess’ had to leave and all the girls insisted on coming out to see her horse-drawn coach.  Thinking that the site of a Honda Accord would not fit the image very well, my friend came up with some story about how she had to leave very quickly and could not have them escort her out.  The interesting thing is that the birthday girl did not even recognize her.  In fact, after the party, my friend fully expected her to put it together.  She never did.  She just talks about how special she felt to have a real princess come to her birthday party.

I guess some might say that she really did recognize her but wanted to believe in the magic more.  Or maybe, she believed in the magic so much that she really only saw a beautiful princess.  What are you seeing in your life?

I think it’s time for me to believe that I can still be that energetic, beaming cheerleader.  How about you?  What do you believe in more:  the problems, difficulties and bad news or the possibilities, the hope and the magic?  Remember you will see what you believe!

She and one of her neighbors have had a pretty strong difference of opinion on something.  It was one of those “neighborhood” issues.  I’m sure you know what I mean:  “I want shrubs not an ugly fence”, “I know you want a spotlight for security but it shines in my bedroom”-that type of thing.  Their difference of opinion was actually quite strong and their disagreements sometimes got pretty heated.  As a result, they weren’t exactly the best of friends.  In fact, they barely spoke.

The neighbor recently got a new car.  Jane looked out one evening and thought she saw the light on inside the car.  She called the neighbor and said, “I’m not sure I’m seeing this right but it looks like the light is on inside your new car.  I just wanted to call to let you know because I surely don’t want you to get up in the morning to a dead battery.”  The neighbor curtly assured her that since she has just gotten home the light just hadn’t gone out yet.

After about 20 minutes, Jane’s phone rang.  It was the neighbor.  “I just wanted to thank you.  You were absolutely right, the light was on.  If you hadn’t have called I would have had a dead battery come morning.”  Jane simply replied, “I’m so glad I could help.  After all, we are neighbors, I’m sure you would have done the same for me.”  After a short silence the neighbor quietly said, “Yes, yes, I would.”

When Jane first told me that I thought that was a very nice thing that she did and congratulated her for ‘taking the high road’.  However, over the next week I experienced just how difficult it can be to take the high road.  Since Jane shared her story, I have been “wronged” several times.  Minor things, to be sure but I still felt that whatever the action was it was clearly “wrong”.  In a flash, Jane’s approach jumped to my mind.  I realized how difficult it is to disagree with what someone does without being disagreeable back.  It’s not easy to respond with understanding and say, “I’m sure you would do the same for me.”

Why not try it yourself?  You may be surprised to see how many times you “fight” with someone in your head (wasting precious energy).  What would it take to accept that you disagree over one issue yet still respond with neighborly caring.

As some of you know, my husband and I travel a lot.  Between his work, my work, and our family and friends, we rack up some serious frequent flyer miles.  It takes a lot of schedule coordination but, when possible, if one of us goes somewhere “interesting” for work, the other tries to accompany.  Sometimes we even extend the trip a day or two to enjoy a mini (very mini) vacation.

This week, my husband is in Japan.  I was thinking about going with him but the airfare and flight availability decided that I would stay home.  He called me when he was changing planes in LA for one more domestic conversation.  “I wish you could have come with me.  It would be so much fun” he said.  I replied, “It would be nice but you know what part I miss the most?  The plane ride.”  He agreed!

I know—you think we’re totally nuts. I mean, the part that most people would dread the most is all those hours in the plane.  I admit that much of the joy of travel is a thing of the past and getting to your destination is the really exciting part but the time on the plane??

We talked about why we like to be on long plane rides together:  time to nap, read, listen to music, talk, do crossword puzzles together.  No errands to run, chores to do, phone calls to make, e-mails to respond to, no TV shows where we only talk during commercials.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could have plane time at home?  Let’s see, what would it take? Turn off the TV, let voice mail pick up, turn off the computer,  leave errands and chores for another day.  Get out the books, music, and settle in.  This could work!  We could even put our carry on under the coffee table in front of us!  Okay, maybe that’s going too far but you get the idea.

How about you?  Do you have an oasis?  A place or time that you could recreate in your own home?  You only need to recognize when you need it and turn off the interruptions.  It’s so easy-it’s plane-ly clear.