Simple Holidays

"We have more gravy left over than anything else" my mother said as we cleared the Thanksgiving table.

About a week ago, I gave a talk to a wonderful group of women. The subject of the talk was "Holidays: Inspiring or Tiring?" We talked about ways to get through the holidays without driving yourself (and everyone around you) insane. We shared some of our most fond holiday memories (and noted that none of them had to do with the "perfect" gift or "perfect" meal). Then we thought about the picture of the 2007 holiday that we wanted in our memory when we thought back to it. Finally, we came up with one word that summarized the memory we wanted to create this holiday. We realized that the food could burn, we could forget a gift, and we could be late on holiday cards, but we can still create our most fond memory because it was at the heart of what we wanted most. My word was family--I just wanted my family near. Little did I know how much my word would help me keep my perspective.

Three days after the talk, my husband and I flew to Pittsburgh to be with my family. The day we arrived, my mother and I went to mass. While we were at mass my husband decided to clean my mother's roof and gutters. It was just beginning to sprinkle so he hurried to get it done before the heavy rain started. When he was just about to step on the roof, the ladder slipped and he fell on his back on top of the ladder on the cement. When my mother and I came home from mass I couldn't find my husband. I called his cell phone, "I'll be okay, come up to the emergency room." On the way to the hospital I prayed. Then I said, "God, just as I was praying for my family's safety and health at mass, he was falling off the ladder. Where were you?" After several hours in the emergency room, we learned that he had broken 5 ribs and had some fluid in his lung. It would take a while, but he would be okay. Then I realized just where God was. He was ensuring that my husband survived the fall with his neck and spine intact. Then I gave a prayer of true thanksgiving.

I have perspective. We are rearranging our holiday plans. It will be simple but it will be wonderful. We had planned to fly home for two weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We're not sure when we can go home but it's fine--we are blessed with friends and neighbors who can help. If you don't get a gift or a holiday card from us this year, please know that we are thinking of you and appreciate what you bring to our lives. This year we will only do what we can and what will bring joy. The gifts, the cards, the meals, the parties--they are really just gravy. And we are blessed with a lot of gravy.

My wish for you this holiday:

• Focus on your priorities
• Make your holidays more personal and less "perfect"
• Be willing to change your perspective (and plans) when the unexpected happens