The Clarity Journey – May 2008

You haven’t heard much from me lately, have you?  It isn’t because I haven’t been thinking about you or because I haven’t had anything to share.  I’ve talked to you many times in my head.  I’ve even mentally composed newsletters.  I’ve just never made it to the computer to write any of them down.  You see, I’ve been encountering several….speed bumps in the path of my life.  You know how when you drive over a speed bump you get jostled and rattled?  Well, that’s what’s been happening to me.  At first the speed bumps were rather far apart. I could travel for miles before I encountered another.  Lately, the speed bumps have been pretty close together and my life has been feeling a bit like driving over a wash board (for those of you who remember wash boards).

Let me explain. It all started about 3 years ago.  My life was rolling along quite nicely.  And then, with no warning (at least no warning that I noticed at the time) my father became ill. Within 3 months, the healthy man that never needed a doctor and amazed everyone with his strength and perseverance, had died.  Like anyone who has ever been through the death of someone close, I learned a lot about myself and about my family and friends.  I’m pleased to say that everything I learned was wonderful and has drawn me even closer to those I love.  I was pleased to find that although there are losses, I seemed to have the skills and the support I need to get through it all.  I was feeling more clear about who I was and what I had to offer others:  family and friends as well as clients.  You could say that I gained a new level of Personal Clarity.

Little did I know that life had more speed bumps coming my way.  I won’t bore you with all the details of the ups/downs/ups/downs/ups/downs.  But, suffice it to say, I’ve had many opportunities for insight and clarity!  Through it all I’ve been able to keep up with my “normal activities” (work, marriage, friendships, exercise).   The most recent speed bump though has really shaken things up.  I don’t know if this speed bump is bigger, if I am just overly jostled from the series of speed bumps or if the timing is just perfect for some bigger changes.  I think it is the latter.

My most recent encounter involves my mother.  I guess for a while we’ve known something was “off”.  It is so difficult to tell if it is just “normal aging” (whatever that is) or something more.  So we’ve done our due diligence.  We’ve gone to doctors.  I’ve done research on the internet (scary as that can be for medical conditions!).  It turns out that she probably has Parkinson’s Disease.  To make a very long story short, it is not the easiest disease to diagnose (hence the word “probably”) and we have her on medication and she seems to be responding well.  However, PD has a very unpredictable path and many components (both mental and physical).  Given that mom lives several states away from me it has meant a lot of trips back and forth.  It is also making it difficult for me to plan very far in advance.  I find myself frequently saying, “If this happens then I can do this but if not, I’ll need to consider this.”  I’m sure many of you can relate to this situation!

So, why am I telling you all of this?  First of all, I wanted to let you know why I have seemingly disappeared over the last several months.  Secondly, I know that the best way to handle a challenge is to reach out to others.  Even if there is nothing that others can do to directly lighten a burden, just the positive thoughts and energy is both a source of comfort and of strength.  But most of all, I wanted to let you know that through all of this I am gaining yet a new level of Clarity into myself and what I want to bring to the world through my coaching.  I am re-examining and redesigning everything.  In fact, the first thing I will share is my new insight into Clarity.  The original title for this article was The Journey to Clarity.   However, I realized that made it sound like “Clarity”, whether it is about your work, your life, your relationships, or who you are, is a single destination.  If you are “successful” you will reach that destination and forever after have “Clarity”.  That’s not quite right.  The search for Personal Clarity is constantly changing and evolving.  Life, and speed bumps, are much more manageable (and even fun) when we realize it is a Clarity Journey. So, it’s not that we have failed because we “haven’t figured it out” yet.  It’s just the next leg of the journey.

I will keep in touch and let you know about the new and exciting things I have to share with you.  In the meantime, look for the ways that you are gaining more Clarity through your own personal speed bumps…and let me know if you have insights to share with me!